Something As True

Sometimes there is nothing so scary as a blank page. Are you a writer? Then you know what I'm talking about. A blank page represents everything you should be writing but aren't, because you are too busy doing whatever it is people do when they're not doing what they should be doing. A blank page is every story you didn't submit, every idea you never fleshed out, every note of inspiration you scribbled on restaurant napkins or gum wrappers or your hand until you could spill it out onto a page and give it a little more time and attention.

It can be brutal and guilt-inducing to look at a blank page and feel at such a loss, because while all the other ants were gathering inspiration for winter you were whiling away your time seeing movies and hanging out at your favorite bars with outdoor patios and mindlessly going about the motions of work and living without really paying enough attention. So that now, when you want to write, when you deign to sit down with just your own head and a fresh page, you come up empty. Empty! And how can a writer without things to say be any kind of writer at all?

What does it mean when you ignore the gifts God gave you- is he insulted, does he understand and wait patiently until you realize what an idiot you are, or do you think at some point he intervenes? And how? Maybe talent has an expiration date, and if you don't use and appreciate your gifts, one day they up and leave (probably while you're too busy having a martini outside on some nice summer night to notice).